Went to M’s last night had a hit drank some stuff. Talked about me moving out not. Maybe decided not to. We talked about dogs. It’s hard to find a dog that’s perfect. That can walk without a leash, isn’t bitey, can chill inside, likes to cuddle, and is still very protective. Maybe having three dogs is the key. One to cuddle and be lazy, one to be active and outside, one to balance both of the others.
We talked about childhoods. How she had a perfect one….like ideal….with a garden in the back yard and a mother who made family meals everyday a decent house but not super expensive so they could still have vacations and big Christmases. Then how she can crashing down when she realized it was a fake. That nothing was “perfect” That her mom was depressed and her dad was a fuck ass. I figure that is why she reacts so big to things now.  That maybe that is a major personality factor. When you figure out the lies.
Also talked about bf and his bad tummy. How I am  positive it is stress related but he thinks it is spiritual and more than it is. He goes on a mission trip today. I want him to love it.
Then we watched Milo and Otis



I’m at the beach with my family.
My cousins have brought weed.
My sister and cousin have gotten trashed.
Granpa and I walked on the beach at like 6am.
BF did not come with. I have only WiFi and the bill wasn’t paid so I can’t call him, but he can call me. I could borrow some one’s phone but I am being a brat and waiting for him to call me.
I want to smoke, but I don’t want to ask my cousin for some because said cousin is younger than me and I don’t want to be that guy.
I had a dream: I was driving in my car. I see the moon high in the sky but very big and very full. Underneath is a mountain of clouds silhouetted in silver. I try to get a picture of it with my phone still driving. I get scared so I put the phone down. I see I am at a stop light and my car has turned into a bike. I turn right and am stopped by someone I know. We exchange hellos then I ride on. I ghetto a church on a hill. I go inside to change and freshen up. Inside two little girls say hi. I tell them what I am doing and they go outside to play. When I get out of the bathroom from changing a pastor is going through my bag. He pulls out a blanket I had embroidered. He tells me it is good and that I should stay and make more. I tell him I don’t want to stay. So he says ok. I leave the building. I look behind the church because I see a path. I ask the little girl if the path leads to a road. She says she doesn’t know. I walk down a little and see it does not. So I get back on the road, my bike is now folded up and in my pack. I walk on……