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I know that I have done this. But thinking about how drunk or fucked up young girls get scares me. I feel like the thing that really sucks about being a girl is how much it takes from us when we’ve been raped or abused. And I can’t help but thinking about S and how when she drinks she almost always blacks out because it mixes with her meds. One time S got so drunk she had to be carried by M and A to the car and on the way guys were all “Does she need a ride?” “We could take her home” Yeah I bet you could you perverted ass holes. Take home the stumbling drunk girl that won’t remember a damn thing you do to her but will feel the impact in the morning. How is that fun anyway? The girl just lies here. She isn’t helping or moving might be mumbling but there is no dirty talk. You are actually raping her. And maybe it is because I am not a guy but I don’t see the fun. I wouldn’t try to have sex with a guy who was drunk off his ass (most can’t get it up anyway). That would just suck.
Back to girls getting fucked up… The pervs out there see that as like…..a fleshlight….that’s what the girl becomes at that point. Just an object. And it scares me for S because I have been there. I have had a stupid identity crisis after trying to pretend that it didn’t bother me. In my situation it could have been so much worse. God was looking out for me even if I was trying my best to shut him out. I never got pregnant and I didn’t catch anything.
To me it seems like a form of self mutilation. Scars show and it’s an adolescent thing to cut so I’ll just get fucked up and let guys fuck me. So I can kind of blame it on them but since I let it happen I asked for it……?
I just want to tell them all that it isn’t worth it.

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