21815

Play A Game

Last night I got high with my neighbors and played Pictionary. It was snowing and I thought “Why the hell not?” I am not getting drug tested anytime soon.  The classes I take don’t want to drug test me. My boyfriend isn’t going to test me.Why the hell not? I go over to their house, and it’s exactly as I expect it to be.  A little hippie mixed with some grunge memorabilia. BIc lighters lined a window sill like a show case and there were some fake pewter dragons mixed with some miniature mushroom statues through out the living area. For having three dogs, they were surprisingly well behaved.  I was accosted with noses when I entered, but no annoying jumps or licks.  The lab liked me and sat behind me on th couch the entire night.  It was nice having him there.  It had been a few months since I had gotten high last so it gave me some comfort to reach back and pet him when I became awkward.  He was my fuzzy wall.   All in all the game went pretty smoothly.  I shold have been on the guy’s team. Our drawing styles were similar and I could hardly follow what the girls were doing.  It’s usually like that.  But I tried to put away my awkward and cheer for my team mates even.  I was the weak one on our team technically. One guy, put his hand on the paper and started to trace it.  Do you know what his team mate guessed?? Turkey.  He was right.  Gah.  The music on in the background was a mix between new age funk and 90’s popish…. Like Eve6 and Pretty Lights were playing on the station.  They would all randomly sing some of the 90’s stuff, and although I knew the song I didn’t join in. I knew the words.  I rather liked the song.  I just didn’t like the scenario. These people were 26-31.  All still playing around like they were 20.  And granted, that is what I was doing that night also. I still felt like I needed to distance myself from that.  I still felt like I wanted to be more mature than what I was at that moment.     I don’t feel like I failed anybody or anything by smoking last night. I was snowed in, and I was bored. It was a nice get away moment.  As soon as I got home though I let my dog out and gave him all the love. I felt bad for leaving him. Laying in bed, I gave thought to my actions.  I don’t regret them.  I didn’t hurt anybody.  It may have been a childish thing to do, but sometimes that’s what you need.  It helped me calm down and chill.  After going through withdrawals of my anxiety medication it felt nice to finally relax my body. I guess I am just not a fan of having to hide it.  I could use it for my anxiety, but I  can also not moderate myself. Ah well. Pictionary is fun when you’re high.

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