Last night I had a dream that I was still together with C.  I remember thinking in the dream about how I can get away to see J (my now bf).  I was trying to get C to go home without me so I could get a ride home with J.  There was a storm brewing in the background and I was hoping to get caught in it with J.  There was a time in the dream where I was telling C to go ahead, when I realized that I wasn’t dating him anymore and I didn’t have to hide anything.  I remember getting up and leaving the room, getting in the car with J.  I remember holding his hand, him kissing my hand, and then when he dropped me off at my house kissing him and then telling him to call me.

This my friends is the very first dream I’ve ever had with C in it that I did not try to kill myself at the end of it.  Not literally, but in the dream.  Every dream I have with C in it, I try to kill myself as soon as he’s left me alone long enough.  This time I did not.  So I guess I might be getting better?


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