Praise to God
v7 He will swallow upndeath forever
Seems like everything will be good, but first it gets real bad.
Proclamation against Jerusalem
Their response wasn’t appropriate. They ignored God and what he asked for. They did what they wanted.
If God doesn’t need me, then why does He want me?
If He needs me, what does He need me for?
My insolence says, “I didn’t ask for this. Why would I want this?” There are people all over this world in various stages of “have” and “have not”, for what? What Great Mystery can make sense of all this? That I go to work, have a dog and a dishwasher, but there are children dying because they are hungry?
We have not been kind to one another, and we have not been good stewards of this Earth.
V4 The night for which I longed He turned into fear for me
Wanting evil to get its just reward is normal. It is human, but sometimes the consequences that follow are scary as well.
When a nation falls…more than just your enemy is down. There are economics, refugees, and possibly bloodshed.
The sign against Egypt and Ethiopia
This is our expectation. To be naked and afraid.
The Lord will deliver us. When he thinks we have learned our lesson. But it’s hard to teach following generations what to do and why when they live and grow up in prosperity.
And it’s hard to teach following generations what to do and why when they grow up in poverty and oppression.
Anger because they have nothing to do
Proclamation Against Egypt
Sometimes the way the bible talks about only one region concerns me. Then I remember that many places so that. God had to start somewhere. Americans make movies and books based in America as if it is the only piece of land ever.
Proclamation Against Ethiopia
War, huh. What is it good for?
God used war. God encouraged war. He used man against man to punish.
Or maybe he “allowed” it to happen because he “knew” it would happen. So he used for his purpose.
A friend of J’s went out of town so we offered to look after his place and his cat. I loved that cat. She was so affectionate and playful. I loved going over to love on her. We took our dog and they got along well. The cat lives with a dog anyway. They played together a couple of times but mostly the kitty stayed on her tower.
However, on the way to the place J’s jeep window was popped by a rock and got a crack about 8 inches long. J was ridiculously stressed about it. He ended up having to replace the whole windshield. The Jeep is all good now.
Some good news: we received an offer on the house. It was less than what we were asking for so of course we countered. It would be amazing if they took our counter.
The other day, I was driving home from grocery shopping. As I pulled into our spot J is on the porch with Noodle. I park and before I can even turn the car off J says, “Hey leave the car running. Do you want to be spontaneous with me?” Of course I say yes. So he takes the wheel, I scoot over and Noodle gets in the back. J drives us a few miles down the road, and we end up back on our same road actually. We pull to a gray duplex. It’s for rent, but being remodeled right now. The guy working on the place steps out and says hi to us. He asks if we want to look around and of course we do. The place is tiny. It’s a 750 sq foot 2 bedroom one bath place. Concrete floors throughout and new..everything basically. The thing is, it is quaint as hell. I loved it. The guy wants to put a fire pit in the backyard, and he said we could even set up a garden if we wanted to.. Some raised beds or even just ground level. I think we would really enjoy living there. It’s still downtown where we like, and the rent is cheap enough. The guy is even going to live in the other unit. So we would be neighbors. Which we know could be problematic sometimes but we do just want to live there for a year. It’s either that place or an apartment. I think the duplex would afford us more privacy even if it is short on space.
Either way we are still praying for God’s will and that we are making the right decisions.
Our wedding day is coming up. I cam so excited! Scared and happy. I want to be his wife. I want to be a good wife. I want to be someone that helps him to grow. I want to be his first team mate always. I am committed to him and he is committed to me. We will be married at a small civil ceremony and it will be beautiful and intimate. I love his dumb face.
He’s been very supportive and encouraging and I only hope to do the same for him.
I feel like I bleed all of the time. My lady cycle is always jacked up and sometimes there is a ton of blood and sometimes very little. Sometimes it lasts for two weeks and sometimes just five days. Then there are the times I cut myself shaving. Then those spots bleed for hours. I’ve already ruined two fitted sheets because of bleeding. I feel like i constantly cycle through underwear. These kinds of things stress me out so bad.
Lately I have been getting these microneedling sessions with a coworker. He puts a cream on my face to numb it up, and I hate it. I hate that numb feeling. It’s the worst part of the process. I can deal with the warmth and the redness after but the numbing drives me bananas. It is very much necessary though. I don’t want to feel 30+ needles jabbing my face.
I just feel like such a sloppy mess when I bleed.
I had a dream, where I was working at the gas station again. Only my co workers were the people I work with at the day spa. I was taking out the trash when I see a dead cat. I get sad, but I continue cleaning the area. Then I see another cat. Then I see in another trash can two more cats stacked on each other. I start to cry a little here. I am very sad because it looks like all of these cats were thrown into bags to suffocate then thrown into the trash. Then on top of the two cats I see a very very tiny kitten. The size of my pinky. I see it breathing so I try to give it water. In the back of my mind I know that it won’t make it because it isn’t developed enough but I still want it to live. I pick it up to bring it to water. As it lifts its legs are dangling and to my horror I see it has no feet. So in my head that’s it for the kitten. That was the last straw and it won’t live. So I start to bawl and sob. My co-worker Mal comes out and I hug him while I cry. He is very confused and just pats my back. He tells me to go home. I get my things together. I grab my jacket and backpack, which in the dream is a clear backpack like the kind I used to wear in elementary school, and I go to the manager with everything in my hands and ask if I can go home. She looks at me, sees I have been crying, and she says, “You only get married once.” miss and allows me to go home.